Really I watched A Star Is Born, with Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper.

I really loved this film!

Let me share with you why:

It was touching to see how the main character, Jackson Maine was this super successful pop star, famous, rich who had huge audiences and lived the dream life.

And yet, very quickly we learned that he was a very depressed figure with serious alcohol- and drug issues.

This contrast made me think about how we often have this blurred image of what it means to be successful.

We idolize celebrities and strive to be extremely rich or famous or important just like them.

But we forget to pay attention what their life really looks like, behind the mask of being this incredible superstar.

I also ask myself:

What is the point of all the glamour and stardom, if they are not able to enjoy themselves?

I am not saying that money and fame are bad.

But they are pointless achievements if they don’t also provide us with feelings of joy and satisfaction.

So let me share with you the ONE big distinction that I noticed which separates famous people who love what they do from those who don’t.

It all boils down to one thing:


Most people focus on things that they can’t really control:

  • They want to be better than everyone else.
  • They want to be admired.
  • They want to be loved

But here is the problem:

Their success depends on what other people think, or on how other people perform.

In other words, they are driven by external forces.

So they are also not in control of their outcomes and fear that at any moment they could lose everything they worked so hard for.

True high performers who experience both sustainable success and lots of joy and happiness on the other hand focus on themselves.

  • They want to continuously grow.
  • They push their own limits.
  • And they enjoy the process of continuous improvement.

They are in control of their outcomes and don’t depend on specific outcomes.

Their biggest motivation is to develop specific character traits that will help them become the best version of themselves.

How can we apply this to our own lives?

This is a good time to think about our goals for the next year.

But instead of focusing just on outcomes, let’s also think about specific character traits we want to develop:

So for example:

  • If you dream to win big tennis events, you could focus on the character traits that will hopefully make you a better competitor.
  • If you want to raise amazing kids, you could focus on character traits that will help you become a better parent.
  • Or if you want to build a new business, you could focus on the character traits like that will help you become more successful.

By focusing on character traits, we set our eyes on goals that are within our power of control.

And that my friend it what I believe is the secret to experiencing both joy and success!

For me, one of my big goals in 2019 is to be the best dad I can be. Therefore my focus will be on three character traits: Patience, Presence and Love.

I will choose one character trait per month, set myself reminders, and literally practice demonstrating that trait on a daily basis.

Another goal related to my business is to become even more productive so that I can enjoy lots of quality time with my friends and family.

To achieve this, I plan to focus on these three character traits: Focus, Clarity and Value.

Again, I plan to choose one character trait for each month and practice integrating it into my work.

OK, enough about me:

What are your big goals for the upcoming year?

And what character traits do you think would help you experience both a successful and fulfilling 2019?

Let me know in the comment section below.

Happy New Year

– Allon


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